


Want to Be Your Love for Real

by Tolstoyevsky



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15351237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tolstoyevsky/pseuds/Tolstoyevsky
Summary: Viktuuri oneshots.Title is from "Be Be Your Love" by Rachel Yamagata.1: I Would Marry You. || Written forAutotēles Week.2: Comfort on a Bad Day. || Yuuri feels anxious and has a hard day at the rink; Viktor wants to help.3: Over the Threshold. || The fiancés go on a little road trip.





	1. I Would Marry You

**Author's Note:**

> _Autotēles_ , Greek. Complete in itself; intrinsically-motivated.  
> Written for [Autotēles Week](https://wewritevictuuri.tumblr.com/post/175914920586/wewritevictuuri-wewritevictuuri-the-gif-was) Day 1: Relationships.

Viktor should have known that his affection would wear Yuuri out eventually. 

They’ve just returned to the onsen after a long day of practice, and the last thing Yuuri wants to do is snuggle. This puzzles Viktor, because it’s the first thing he wants to do. For the past four hours, Viktor has been drilling Yuuri on jumps, analyzing his footwork, and making him run through his programs, but that doesn’t really count as spending time with him. That’s _coaching_. Now that they’re home, Viktor wants to hang out with Yuuri as his _boyfriend_. 

Apparently, though, Yuuri needs time to himself. Viktor should be able to read his body language and understand that, but… He’s _Viktor_. Touchy-feely by nature, he’s the kind of person who hugs strangers and kisses everyone and their mother on the cheek. It’s a struggle. 

Yuuri is sitting on the couch with Viktor lying next to him, arms wrapped around his waist, when he can’t handle it anymore. 

“Viktor!” 

“Yes?” He peers up, one cheek squished against Yuuri’s belly. 

“I appreciate the affection, but - two people can't be near each other 100 percent of the time. I need some space.” 

The happy look on Viktor’s face deflates. 

“…Oh.” 

Carefully, Yuuri detaches himself from Viktor’s hug. 

“Is that all right?” 

“Well, I was hoping we could do something together,” he says softly. They could make sushi, watch a Miyazaki movie, have some alone time… But Viktor would be happy just sitting and holding Yuuri’s hand. 

“Together?” Yuuri laughs. “Haven’t we been together the whole day?” 

It isn’t a mocking question, but Viktor still feels a little foolish. Rubbing the back of his neck, he sits up and forces a smile. 

“Yeah. You’re right. I’ll go to the hot springs for a little while.” 

Yuuri’s expression turns questioning, but he doesn’t protest. That tells Viktor all he needs to know. 

When Viktor climbs into bed that evening, he is careful not to disturb Yuuri. He unfolds the covers on one side and tucks himself in, sparing a glance at the sleeping figure beside him before he, too, shuts his eyes. 

***

“Mhh… Yuuri.” 

“…Huh? Viktor?” 

Yuuri stirs, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He glances around the room, realizing it’s still dark. Did Viktor just come to bed? His gaze falls on the man next to him; Viktor has his arms around Yuuri's waist, clinging to him like a human jellyfish. Yuuri wriggles in his hold, starting to sweat. As if he hadn’t done enough of that during training, with everything Viktor made him practice. This is too much. 

“Come on, Viktor–“ 

“Would… you.” 

Oh. Viktor isn’t awake; he’s talking in his sleep. Yuuri relents, sighing softly as he reaches down to pat Viktor’s hair. He wonders what Viktor is dreaming about. 

“I would marry you.” 

Yuuri sits up, alert. 

“W-what?” 

“Mm… Love you. Would marry you, Yuuri… Spend all my time with you, if you'd let me.” 

Something in Yuuri’s chest snaps. He doesn’t see it coming; a shudder rocks him, and he breaks down sobbing, snuggling closer to Viktor. 

“You love me that much?” 

Viktor doesn’t say anything, but he shifts in response to Yuuri’s movements, resting his head on his chest. Feeling the weight of his presence, Yuuri understands. Viktor’s love isn’t crushing; it’s unconditional. He doesn’t distinguish between Yuuri as a frustrated, tired student and as a friend or lover. Whether they’re training or sitting at home or sleeping, every moment with Yuuri is a moment that Viktor cherishes. 

And Yuuri realizes that he loves Viktor, no matter the situation. How he wags his finger when he’s criticizing Yuuri’s footwork. The way he flops down onto the couch when they’re about to put a movie on. The blissful look on his face when they're wrapped up in each other. 

“I must have made you feel so bad,” Yuuri whispers. 

Again, no reply. 

***

In the morning, Viktor wakes up first. His thoughts are restless, bouncing between the conversation from yesterday and the hazy snippets of a dream. A proposal… That’s right. In his dream, he’d proposed to Yuuri, but he never heard the answer. The dream faded to black, and soon enough, Viktor woke up. Oh, well. What was he expecting, anyway? He turns to face Yuuri, who is holding Viktor’s arm, and wishes he were awake. 

As if on cue, Yuuri yawns. He notices that Viktor is up and offers a sleepy smile. 

“Morning.” 

“Ah – good morning.” 

Viktor returns the smile, even as he pulls away. But this time, Yuuri responds differently. He reaches over and takes Viktor into his arms. It’s a long-awaited embrace; Viktor has craved this warmth, and he feels like a puzzle piece that has fallen into place. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri whispers. 

“…You shouldn’t be.” 

“I should,” says Yuuri, pressing his forehead to Viktor’s. 

“But – I understand, if it's too much.” 

“ _No_. I changed my mind. It’s not. Vitya, please marry me.” 

Viktor stills. Yuuri only calls him Vitya in their most intimate moments, when they’re both vulnerable, yet open with each other. And here they are: Yuuri holding him, Viktor tracing the lines of his face with his eyes, and Yuuri asking Viktor to _marry_ him. 

He thinks he might cry, but instead, he laughs. 

“It isn’t a joke! I made a mistake, when I told you I needed space. I love you, Vitya. I – I don’t want to be apart from you. I – want you to stay by my side. And never leave.” 

Viktor’s eyes well up. His laughter dissolves into hiccups. 

“Quoting _Stammi Vicino_? That’s not fair.” 

Yuuri smiles helplessly, and Viktor can only reflect his expression. He’s the helpless one, not Yuuri. Viktor could spend his whole life mirroring Yuuri’s movements, knowing that Yuuri would do the same. 

“Actually… I had a dream about this last night,” he admits, wiping away his tears. 

“I know.” 

“What?” 

“You talk in your sleep.” 

Viktor moans and pulls a pillow over his head. “Oh, god, Yuuri–“ He peeks out from underneath it, cheeks bright red. 

“I really want to. Marry you.” 

Yuuri says it so earnestly that Viktor flings the pillow away. 

“I accept!” He exclaims, leaping onto Yuuri and covering his face with kisses. “Of course I’ll marry you.” 

Viktor should have known that Yuuri would kiss back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Bruno Mars voice* Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you~


	2. Comfort on a Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Buthogwartsishome](buthogwartsishome.tumblr.com) on Tumblr requested Viktuuri after a long bad day at the rink. Some discussion of anxiety; Viktor helps Yuuri feel better in the end. :)

This is the kind of day that Yuuri hates. The moment he wakes up, sensing the too-rapid thump of his heartbeat, he knows. Yuuri’s head feels heavy, like there’s something weighing down on him, but he can’t pinpoint what it is. His vision is blurrier than usual, as though someone has draped a sheet over his eyes. As he gets dressed, he reminds himself that today is a regular Tuesday. His mother has made breakfast, and he has practice in the morning. Viktor, his coach and friend, is waiting for him in the living room. Nothing bad has happened, even though Yuuri _feels_ off. He just has to endure it. 

That’s easier said than done. 

On days like this, Yuuri struggles to skate. He underrotates his jumps; his footwork is sloppy; and he can’t get into character for “Eros.” Viktor sees the determination guiding his steps and praises him for trying, but Yuuri doesn’t deserve that praise. He barely gets through practice without crying, and he and Viktor walk back to the hot springs in silence. 

The worst part of it all is that Yuuri can’t tell why he has these bad days. Maybe there isn’t a reason. The feeling that clouds his thoughts is something nameless, like the monsters in the stories his mother read to him as a child. It bears down on him, and he struggles to breathe – 

“Yuuri?” 

_Oh_. It’s Viktor, sitting beside him on the couch in the living room. His voice pulls Yuuri back to the present moment. 

“Are you having a panic attack?” 

Yuuri shakes his head, because he isn’t having one _yet_ ; he’s trying to prevent one. Carefully, Viktor rests his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. 

“Talk to me,” he whispers. 

“I’m fine… I just sucked at practice today. I feel like I wasted my time and yours.” 

“Yuuri, you know better than that. No skater always lands jumps perfectly. And I’ve been your coach for… What, five months? I wouldn’t be here if I thought you were wasting my time.” 

Yuuri knows this, but his worries have put reason on hold. 

“I-I’ll improve tomorrow.” 

Viktor gives him a strange look that only makes Yuuri feel more ridiculous. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispers. “You don’t need to convince me.” 

_Sweetheart_. Recently, Viktor has started using this word around him. Yuuri isn’t yet sure what Viktor means by it; is it friendly? Romantic? Intended to pacify him? This isn’t to say that Yuuri doesn’t like being called “sweetheart;” he loves it, actually, just as he loves Viktor, but that’s a thought he keeps to himself. 

Besides, he’s too anxious to consider it now. 

“Why does this happen? I can have one good day, maybe two or three, and then this happens. It _always_ happens. Why?” 

Yuuri stands up, starting to pace around the room. For an instant, Viktor looks helpless. 

“Everyone has their bad days–“ 

“Seriously?” 

“What?” Viktor frowns. 

“Knowing that doesn’t change the fact that I have them. How is that helpful?” 

They stare at each other for a long time. Yuuri realizes he’s being unfair; he knows that Viktor’s trying. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. 

Viktor smiles softly. 

“No, you’re right,” he admits, starting to laugh. “That wasn’t helpful at all. It’s what Yakov used to tell me when I got upset. I always thought it was annoying, but it did calm me down. You’re different from me, though.” 

That’s the thing about Viktor: even when he says something that falls flat, it comes from a place of such goodwill that Yuuri can’t be angry with him. He has a kind heart; Yuuri loves him for it. 

“Viktor…” 

“What would help you, right now?” 

Hands shaking, Yuuri shifts closer and reaches for Viktor. He sniffles a little and buries his face in Viktor’s shoulder, not sure how he’ll react. But there’s no hesitation on Viktor’s side; he wraps his arms around Yuuri, allowing him to nestle in the warmth between them. Yuuri’s head feels clearer, and the unspoken feelings inside him seem to lighten, gaining buoyancy, until there is no longer a weight pinning him down. 

“I-I just want you to hold me,” He says, when his words finally rise to the surface. “Is that okay?” 

Before Yuuri hears Viktor laugh, he _feels_ it. He already knows what the answer will be. 

“More than okay, sweetheart.”


	3. Over the Threshold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Katsukifatale](http://katsudons.co.vu/) on Tumblr requested Viktuuri and travel. So here are the fiancés, taking a little road trip :)

“Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see.” 

“But–“ 

“You’ll _see_!” 

Sighing, Yuuri closed his eyes and leaned back in the shotgun seat of Viktor’s car. They’d been driving for the past hour, without an end point in sight. There was no use in pestering his fiancé for details; wherever they were going, Viktor seemed hell-bent on keeping their destination a secret. When he wanted to surprise Yuuri, Viktor could go to incredible lengths. Or in this case, distances. 

Yuuri couldn’t believe it had only been a few hours since they arrived in Russia. Their plane had touched down in St. Petersburg that morning; finally, Yuuri and Viktor were moving in together. They had decided to relocate from Hasetsu about six months before the competitive season began, so Yuuri wouldn’t be too thrown by the culture shock of moving to a new place. Yuuri thought he would have more time to get used to the city, but Viktor wanted to take him on a road trip. So they’d dropped off their suitcases in the apartment they now shared, and off they went. Yuuri had to admit, he was excited – and too jet-lagged to turn down the opportunity to sleep in the car. 

“Will I like this surprise?” he asked, in between yawns. 

Viktor chuckled, stroking his hair. 

“I think you’ll love it.” 

The highway outside St. Petersburg was busy, but within two hours, they’d reached whatever Viktor was so eager to show Yuuri. 

“ _Koibito_?” Viktor whispered. He turned off the car and gently shook Yuuri’s shoulder. We’re here.” 

“Mhh?” Yuuri felt Viktor lean in to kiss his cheek. He sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Yuuri couldn’t resist a chuckle; where was here, exactly? 

As they got out of the car, he took a moment to look around. They had reached a small cottage with green walls and a gable roof. Nestled in the woods, the house was surrounded by carnation bushes and overlooked a large lake. Sunlight danced on the glassy water, the lake’s surface rippling as seagulls brushed it with their wings. Yuuri’s laughter dwindled to an awed silence. 

“Oh… It’s beautiful.” Yuuri breathed. “What is this place?” 

“It’s our summer home!” Viktor spread his arms wide. “On the shores of Lake Ladoga. I’ve told you about my family’s _dacha_ before, haven’t I?” 

“Once or twice,” said Yuuri, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew that Viktor’s family had a house outside St. Petersburg where they spent time during the off-season, but he hadn’t expected the surroundings to look like _this_. “You’ve never shown me pictures before.” 

Viktor winked in that uniquely sneaky way that told Yuuri something was up. 

“…You’ve been planning this for a while, haven’t you?” 

“Yup!” Without another word, Viktor looped an arm around Yuuri’s back and lifted him into his arms. Yuuri yelped, clinging to Viktor’s neck as they started off toward the dacha. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Carrying my beloved over the threshold.” 

“Isn’t that something you do once you’re already married?” 

“Do I look like a traditional man to you?” 

Yuuri hid a grin against his shoulder. 

“W-we left our stuff in the car.” 

“…Does it matter?” 

“It does if your house keys are in your bag.” 

Viktor pulled away to look at Yuuri. His hair was all ruffled up like a bird’s feathers, and Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh again. 

“Oh,” Viktor mumbled, setting his fiancé down. “You’re right.” 

He raced back toward the car, grabbed his things, and locked the vehicle behind him. Unzipping the front pocket of his bag, Viktor fumbled for his keys, dangling them from one finger as he rushed back to Yuuri. 

“There we go,” Viktor breathed. His hands were shaking as he turned the key in the lock. “Now we can– oh, damn, it’s jammed.” 

Yuuri smiled. He placed one hand over Viktor’s, and they opened the door together. 

“Looks pretty,” he mused, still not going inside. Instead, Yuuri’s eyes drifted up to meet Viktor’s. 

“Want to try carrying me again? It’s good practice for pair skating.” 

Viktor beamed. His hands found Yuuri’s waist, and he picked him up in one swift motion. 

“I love you.” 

Yuuri snuggled closer into his arms as they stepped into the dacha. 

“Huh. I think I love you, too.” 

“ _Yuuri_ –“ 

He giggled, pressing his lips against Viktor’s, and carefully shut the door behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> Tumblr: [tolstoyevskywrites](http://tolstoyevskywrites.tumblr.com)  
> Spotify playlists: [Otayuri](https://open.spotify.com/user/tolstoyevsky/playlist/5i3uGBrwu9gfB9ynaOjiay) || Viktuuri: [1](https://open.spotify.com/user/tolstoyevsky/playlist/7dtTAAISDjCfEjYoOV8IiU), [2](https://open.spotify.com/user/tolstoyevsky/playlist/36xh2sv4YN7hdNWaAgDksu?si=eS1Qh7EMQCCxmXquXaP9MA)  
> 8tracks playlists (different from the Spotify ones): [here](http://8tracks.com/airini/collections/yuri-on-ice-playlists)  
> My other YOI fics: || [ Someone Tell the Referee to Stop Calling Out My Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111506/chapters/35040203) || [Stargazing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801836/chapters/31732521) || [Laurel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8871910/chapters/20340913) || [The Adventures of Yuri Plisetsky and His Lovestruck Not-Coach](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8790199/chapters/20151052) || [Otayuri Oneshots](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9341738/chapters/21166439) || [Breathe Easy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8851813)  
> 


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